Be there. Let them lead.

Listen without investigating

Give them space to share as much or as little as they choose. Avoid questions that blame them or ask them to prove what happened.

Ask what would help

Rather than deciding for them, ask what support feels useful. They may want company, help finding information, or simply someone to listen.

Try a specific, optional offer: “Would you like company while you look at resources?” or “Would it help if I checked what hours that service is open?” Leave room for them to say no.

Offer options without pressure

If they want resources, you can explore established services together. Do not push them to report, confront someone, or share their experience publicly.

Keep showing care

Respect their pace. Ask how and when they would like you to check in. Your support does not have to depend on taking a particular next step.

Care with their privacy in mind

Ask before passing on names, messages, screenshots or personal details. Do not post someone’s experience or tag them in advocacy content without their permission.

Before sending a resource link or leaving a message, ask whether that method of contact works for them. An unexpected message may be visible to someone else.

Words you can make your own

“Thank you for telling me.” “You do not have to explain more than you want to.” “What would feel helpful right now?”

You can be honest about your own limits while continuing to care. Being supportive does not require becoming an investigator or promising an outcome.

Learn from experienced advocates

These suggestions draw on RAINN’s guidance for supportive conversations. Its full guide offers more context for friends and loved ones.

Read RAINN’s guide to supporting a survivor (opens in a new tab)